It’s 6 AM and your alarm rings. You know you need to get up to start your day, but the bed is so comfortable. While you WANT to stay in bed, you feel you SHOULD get up and get to work. What do you choose? Most people report that they sometimes, or even often, struggle to make the choice they know is best in the long run. What can you do to help tip the balance towards making choices that “Future You” will appreciate? One way to increase your motivation is to make effective choices by linking your actions to your values. 

Values are the things that are most important to you and an important part of your identity. When we act according to our values, we feel increased well-being and accomplishment. Personal goals reflect our values; making sure you call a friend or family member once a week is a goal that reflects your personal value of strong family relationships. 

Here are 6 steps you can take to increase your motivation to act in accordance with your values and to do more of what you want to do (even at 6 AM). 

1. Identify Your Core Values

What are the things that really matter to you? If you had to choose just five words to describe the things that are most important to you, what would those words be? Things like family, security, relationships, power, fun, influence, honesty, and creativity are a few examples. Here is a list of values words to get you started. There are no right or wrong answers. When you look at the words, ask yourself, “Is this important to me?” and if the answer is yes, then ask yourself, “Is this one of the most important things about me?” Try to limit yourself to 5 “most important” values.

2. Set values-based goals

A value is part of who you are as a person. A goal is a specific accomplishment that you can complete. Use SMART goals to help you set realistic goals. SMART goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. If one of your core values is being reliable, then a SMART goal might be getting to work on time every morning for one week.  Choose smaller goals that you can achieve rather than large goals that may be overwhelming.

3. Choose a goal to work on right now.

It can be easy to say “I’ll do that tomorrow” and then not get to making the changes you want to make. Look over your list of values and goals. What is most important to you? What would bring a quick, positive change? What needs to happen before you can work on a larger goal? It can be overwhelming to try to take on too much, so choose one thing at a time. 

4. Identify the things that might get in the way of completing that goal and plan for success.

If it were easy, you would probably have done it already. Plan for challenges by reflecting on what has worked for you in the past, or what has been a roadblock to completing your goal. It’s hard to wake up at 6 AM  if you didn’t get to bed until after 1 AM. Are you staying up late to finish work, or to be a good friend to someone who is suffering? Are you getting lost in a great book or on social media? Maybe there is another goal you need to reach first before working towards a larger goal. Revise your goal as needed – maybe you need to set a SMART goal of getting to bed by 11pm on Sunday through Thursday before working on the goal of getting to work on time. 

5. Be sure to notice your accomplishments

Changing your behavior is difficult! Celebrate the small changes because big changes come from consistent small changes. If you get to bed at 11 PM, then acknowledge that this is an accomplishment for you.

6. Practice Self-Compassion

Let go of judgment thoughts like “this should be easy for me” or “I shouldn’t have to work this hard to just get to work on time.” Judging yourself depletes your motivation. Remember that you won’t always be perfect. You won’t always act in line with your values—and that’s okay. Ask yourself what you would say to a friend who is trying to do what you’re doing. How would you encourage them? Be a cheerleader for yourself.

7. Remind yourself of why you want to do this difficult thing.

Make a list of all the reasons why this goal is important to you, focusing on your values. Telling yourself that you should get out of bed to go to work won’t be as effective as reminding yourself that you want to get out of bed because this is working on being reliable, which is important to you. Leave that list where you can see it easily. Reminding yourself of your values is much more effective than shaming yourself into action.

And finally…

If you struggle to identify your values, or if you judge yourself and your efforts harshly, it may be time to work with a therapist who can help you identify what is getting in the way of your goals.