Messages about ideal body weight, shape and appearance are just about everywhere – in homes, schools, colleges and universities, social and news media, on TV, and in advertisements. Unfortunately, this may subtly or not so subtly suggest there is a right and wrong way for a person’s body to look.
An individual’s “body image” is the perception a person develops about their body, including their weight and body shape. An individual’s body image is influenced by various factors, including social constructs of what is deemed desirable (Jiosta et al., 2021). Body dissatisfaction occurs when there is a misalignment between how a person wants their body to appear compared to how they believe it appears.
Body dissatisfaction is common. It exists on a continuum and can contribute to the development of depression, anxiety or more serious eating and body image struggles in some people (Linardon et al., 2021). Body dissatisfaction can also result in lowered confidence and self-criticism. Forming opinions about one’s body can begin in childhood (Pursey et al., 2021), and persist into adolescence and adulthood.
Fortunately, there are ways to improve one’s relationship with their body. Developing an awareness of negative influences in the everyday environment and its impact on one’s thoughts, emotions, and actions is a great place to begin. A skill often used in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), is called the STOP skill (Linehan, 2014). STOP is an easy to remember acronym that promotes resisting strong emotional urges in order to prevent a given situation from getting worse.
STOP:Stop. Pause for a moment
Take a step back. Mentally, emotionally and physically step back from the situation.
Observe. Be aware of your thoughts, emotions and urges to act, while also taking in information about what is happening around you.
Proceed mindfully. Be thoughtful about what your end-goal is and what you believe is a prudent way to get there.
Here is an example of using STOP to improve one’s relationship with their body:
After scrolling through her social media feed, Sally finds herself staring into the mirror, critiquing the way her thighs and stomach are structured compared to some of the people whose social media accounts she follows. Sally often feels defeated because no matter what she does, she continues to carry much of her body weight in her thighs and stomach. Using a harsh tone, she says to herself, “I have an ugly body” and “I will never be happy unless I lose weight.”
S – Sally closes her eyes and coaches herself to stop what she is doing.
T – Sally puts down her phone and takes a step away from the mirror. She takes a deep breath.
O – Sally observes how much worse she feels when she compares her body to someone else’s.
P – Sally realizes that the more she follows certain social media feeds, the more likely she is to feel unhappy with her body. Sally proceeds to stop following certain accounts.
If you have found yourself at times dissatisfied with your body shape and weight, therapy may be able to provide a different framework of thinking, along with various strategies to help you embrace the body you have.